Home
by JoplinHadleigh
Summary: It wasn't a question of whether or not Nessie loved Jacob. Yes, undeniably. But he wasn't the only one, Seth was there to fill in the pieces Jacob couldn't. He was there for all the times Jacob couldn't be; more importantly he was there to give her all the things Jacob couldn't.
1. Home

"Don't you understand how much trouble I could get in if Jacob found out?" Seth sat next to me on my bed, his brow furrowed. This was definitely not the first time we've had this conversation. And I was less than eager to have it again.

"It's been five months. If he doesn't know by now I doubt he's going to find out any time soon." I reached across the space that separated our naked bodies and covered his large russet hand with mine; pale, small. "Besides," I started, teasingly, "You're making it seem like you don't even want to be with me." I pouted, theatrically and batted my eyes.

"I'm being serious Ren. You're his imprint. And… And I might lose the pack." He pulled away from me and stood up, all in one fluid movement. He was beautiful in all his naked glory. Beautiful tan skin; strong, defined muscle. "Fuck. Ren. I can't keep doing this, he's my alpha." He pulled his boxers off my bedroom floor and slid them on. In my lustful paradise I hadn't even realized where I had thrown them.

I stayed where I was. Half insulted. Half saddened by Seth and I's constant fighting. I couldn't find my words to express my feelings.

"I'm sorry darling, Ren. Really. Please say some-" Seth stopped halfway through his sentence and straightened his posture. Listening.

"Nessie?! I'm home!" It was Jacob. A quick glance at the clock revealed how much time I had spent with Seth. Normally Seth was long gone by the time Jacob got home.

"Fuck." Seth hissed. "Get dressed." He started rummaging for clothes in between the piles of my junk on the floor. Within seconds he was dressed. Now he was looking for my clothes- with no luck. I was the first to undress and our heated make out session began downstairs on the couch. My skirt and panties were by the couch. My shirt was somewhere in the hallway, and my bra… well that was lost among the sweet chaos.

"Nessie? Is this one of those scavenger hunts?" Jacob laughed, deep, dark. Robust like a cup of coffee. I melted at the sound of it. "Come out, come out wherever you are." He sang from somewhere downstairs. My heart sank as I pictured him: excited by some change to our lacking, monotonous love life, finding his imprint's undergarments strewn across the house.

"Ren. Get dressed, please, I'm begging you." Seth pleaded. He was frantic, no longer caring about how much noise he was making. Opening and slamming my dresser drawers, throwing random clothes at me in an effort to avoid his alpha seeing us in a compromising position.

I looked up at him, tilted my head. "Why?"

Seth only stared at me. Mouth agape.

I swear I could almost hear his heart beating from across the room.

"Nessie?" Jacob opened the door. His belt was undone, the buckle hanging down against his leg. His button down shirt hanging open. His eyes were lustful, and there was an obvious tent in his pants. Until he was Seth in the corner. Jacob's gradual realization seemed to play in slow motion. He looked from me: completely naked, laying on the sex-strewn sheets of my bed; to his beta, clothed, pale, and frantic.

"…What?" He stared at me, "What the fuck is going on?" He turned to Seth.

I thought Seth was going to pass out.

"We fucked." Was that me speaking? I had a sudden adrenaline rush of confidence. I was cool, calm and collected. This situation gave me some kind of sick power rush. I knew I had the upper hand.

If it was possible, Seth turned a shade whiter.

Jacob seemed to stumble a bit, almost like he lost his footing simply by standing there. "You… You two had sex?" He turned to Seth, his beta, hoping this was some big joke. Jacob looked half way between laughing and crying.

"Jacob. I'm so sorry." Seth moved in between Jacob and I. He was obviously scared, his hands were shaking, and I wanted nothing more than to hold them in that moment. But he stood between my imprint and I, still wanting to protect me.

Jacob moved forward in such a swift movement that I didn't see it at first. His hands were around Seth's neck. Screaming in his face.

"Jacob Black! If you hurt him… I'm gone." I stood up, putting my hand on Jacob's arm.

He stopped, looked from Seth to me and dropped him. "Nessie," He pulled me to him, "He hurt you." He whispered.

Is this what he thought? Jacob thought I could never willingly love anyone other than him. That the obvious thought for my imprint was that I must have been taken advantage of. That I was forced into this scenario. That no matter what, I was the victim.

"No, Jacob, we're in love." I whispered.

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**Yay! You've made it to the end. c: I certainly hope that you liked it. Either way, please leave me reviews so I know whether or not I should continue. **

**Thank You. Thank You.**

**Love, Joplin.**


	2. Think Twice

So, I know some of you read the first chapter. Mhmm. . I saw the views.

But don't you worry, I'm not easily deterred. I'll keep updating with the hope whomever is reading this is actually enjoying it,

I mean, it's not like my heart is completely broken or anything.

*Weeps*

However, my lovelies, I announce, the second chapter. c: Enjoy.

P.S. I like to name my chapters after songs. (I know, how original right. Yes, whatever.)

This chapter is Think Twice. By the wonderful Eve 6. This song always reminds me of Jacob.

P.S. (Again) And obviously in the first chapter I completely forgot I didn't even own twilight. Haha. Silly me.

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, any of the songs I use for chapter titles, the name of this story. Anything. I do own this marvelous blue pen I use to hand write all of my chapters before I type them out. (Is that weird?)

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Jacob's POV.

Where had I gone wrong?

My Nessie, sweet, innocent Nessie. My imprint, my soul mate; my life. The only person I've ever loved with every fiber of my being. Was in love with someone else. However, this wasn't just anyone else: this was my beta, my best friend, and my second in command.

My hands fell to my sides, shaking. I wanted to explode. I had never before had the undeniable urge to tear somebody limb-from-limb. But right now, I wanted to kill Seth.

I sat down on the bed. Oh god. The bed. The bed. The one Nessie and I first made love in. It was now ruined, stained, polluted by some other man. I got up and sat on a chair across the room. I buried my face in my hands. I wanted to fight. I wanted revenge.

Nessie kneeled beside me and rubbed my back. Her small cold hands would have been a welcome relief in any other circumstance. However, all I could think about is that hand trailing Seth's body. Touching him in places that hand had once touched me.

I wanted to scream.

"Jacob, please give me a chance to explain." Her voice was shaking. Unlike only a few seconds earlier when she sounded so strong, so confident. She rested her head on my shoulder.

I moved to encompass her naked body in my arms and she flinched. My Nessie thought I was going to hurt her. When had I ever raised a hand to her? I wanted to weep. I moved again to try and hold her and she let out a whimper.

She ran to Seth. He wrapped her in a blanket, so tenderly, and held her close to him.

I looked up at the two lovers. "How long?"

"Five months. About." Nessie whispered.

I couldn't believe it. This affair had been going on for five months and I had never even suspected anything. Never even noticed any changes in Nessie's behavior. No, that was a lie; I had noticed changes. We stopped going to see Dr. Cullen every week for her hormone treatments, she stopped showing me her negative pregnancy tests. "This is about the baby, isn't it?" I whispered.

"Since the party for Lilah." Lilah was Sam and Emily's daughter. I remember the way Nessie acted when we left. She was nervous, fidgety. How stupid of me to think it was only her jealousy from Emily and Sam. I held her hand while I drove home and waited for her to talk to me. Except she didn't even say anything. As soon as we got home, she started stripping. Taking clothes off until both of us were naked, making love on the floor of the entry way. It was forced, rushed, like she was just trying to get it over with. Afterwards, she cried. I was so worried I had hurt her, and I held her close to me for what seemed like hours as she whimpered and told me how much she wanted a baby. How incredibly unfair she thought it was that no matter how hard she tried nothing seemed to work.

She had said she wanted a baby to make me happy. What a fool I was.

"How did this start? Just all of a sudden? 'Oh, let's make Jacob look like an idiot.' Is that you're plan? Because I gotta hand it to you Nessie. It sure fucking worked."

Nessie was crying, holding onto Seth. I had to fight every part of myself not to take her from him and hold her in my arms.

Seth put his arms round her and pulled her close. Whispering in her ear and rubbing her back. Somehow, this bothered me the most; even with knowing they just had sex. Somehow, this embrace was worse.

However, nothing was as bad as what Nessie told me next.

-Nessie's POV

"I never meant to hurt you. Neither of us wanted that Jacob; believe me that was never out intention." I told him when I could find stop sobbing and talk. My confidence was gone. My only strength was Seth's hand rubbing small circles on my back.

"Oh pardon me. What was your intention? Besides cheating on me and making look like a complete idiot for what, five months?" Jacob sneered, I had never heard him be so cruel.

"I wanted a baby." I whispered.

Jacob's face fell. "What?"

"I wanted a baby. And… I was tired of seeing Grandpa Cullen every weak, only to have him look at me with such… with… with such pity. Like he had known all along this would happen, and now he had no option but to feel sorry for me. And then he suggested a fertility test, and the tests came back and… It was you. You were the reason I couldn't have any children." I wiped my face with the edge of the blanket. "And Seth was there for me. Because I obviously couldn't talk to you about it."

"What? You told me the tests were inconclusive. Wh- Why would you lie about that?" Jacob got up and sat next to me on the bed and took one of my hands in his.

"I didn't want you to blame yourself. I know how badly you wanted a baby, and I couldn't handle the thought of you blaming yourself." I whispered, intertwining my fingers with his.

"Nessie, you can always talk to me. About anything. Do you understand me? Anything." Jacob had tears in his eyes. Come to think of it, I could count on one hand how many times I'd seen him cry.

I dropped his hand and looked away. "No, Jacob. I couldn't talk to you about the things going through my head when I found out. I couldn't tell you how much I hated you. I couldn't tell you that every time we had sex I wanted to cry because it was so depressing for me. Like you and I were just going through the movements." I looked at his face, the tears were streaming down now, "I'm sorry Jacob, but I couldn't tell you."

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Oh my guacamole. That's over 1,000 words. D:

Well. I certainly hope you like it.

Maybe you could review? c:

Maybe?

Love, Joplin. 3


	3. Run

Maybe this chapter really sucks. Maybe.

Uhm, I kind of feel it's necessary for the next chapter...

Mhm. Well here it is, I hope you enjoy it. c:

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Jacob's POV

I was worthless.

I am worthless.

Even my own imprint didn't want me. She would rather sleep with Seth. Ha! Seth, of all people, my beta, my second-in-command. She wanted a child so badly; was so mad in the quest for motherhood that she would find any willing male to ensure it. A part of me wanted to hate her. I knew however, that I could never hate Nessie.

"I'm sorry." I told her once Seth left the room. "Just please, come sit with me."

She was dressed now, and she walked over to the chair and sat on my lap, curling herself up. "You shouldn't be sorry. It's my fault. All my fault." She whispered and stroked my cheek with her thumb. "I should have just went back to the doctors. We could have done more tests or more IVF. Anything… it just seemed so much easier with Seth."

"Why Seth? Why him? And what if you did get pregnant? When were you planning on telling me? When I held your child in my arms and stupidly assumed it was mine? Hmm. When Nessie? Or were you planning on never telling me?" I was upset now. My hands started to shake and I suddenly wanted to scream at her.

"Jake. Calm down. Please." She took my hands in hers and kissed them.

Those lips. Those lips I used to love, those lips that for years I imagined how they would feel; how they would taste. I know didn't want them anywhere near me.

"Get up." I started shoving her off my lap, fearing that I would phase right in her room.

She hopped off and stared at me. Stared at me like I was some kind of monster. "Go!" She yelled. I could hear her heart beating out of control, I could suddenly sense her fear.

I ran out of her room, out of the house, I ran until my lungs were hot. I ran until I choked on the air. I ran until I couldn't figure out what form I was in.

-Nessie's POV

By 9 o'clock Jacob still wasn't back. I'm not sure what I had expected. I had no idea how he would react. I'm not even sure that I ever had any intention of telling him.

I had made dinner, Jacob's favorite. Lasagna. Now I was putting it all away in the fridge. I had no idea when Jacob would be back, or even where he was. I sat down with my cup of tea and tried to wish him back home. Obviously, with no luck.

Seth walked in from the back porch. "Sam said he hasn't spoken to him since about 5:30." He sat down at the kitchen table with me. "He said he couldn't get much information out of him, except that he didn't want to talk."

I nodded. "I just want him back. Safe." I looked up at Seth. "You don't have to stay."

"Do you want me to?" He reached across the table and took my hand in his.

"Of course. I just… I don't think it would be smart to have you here when Jake comes back home."

"You're right." He looked at the clock. "I'll patrol the house. And try to talk to Jake, see where he is." He must have sensed my uneasiness. "I'll be fine, just get some rest." He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

I nodded. Maybe that would be best. I was in no condition to stay up and wait until Jacob came home. Seth let himself out and I went to take my shower. Except, I had never liked being in this house alone, and I suddenly got worried with every bump in the night. In the end, I slept in Jacob's bed; relishing the smell of the sheets, remembering all the times I had slept in this bed with him. Wishing more than anything that he was here with me.

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So, I've only had one review. :c

Albeit, I absolutely loved that one review. Because, it's my first. EVER.

So. I won't upload anymore chapters until I get at least five more of those wonderful reviews, c;

Love, Joplin.


	4. Piece of My Heart

Whooooohoooo.

Chapter 4. c:

I got the reviews I wanted.

THANKYOUVERYMUCH. I just like to have feedback to know that people like or dislike it.

I can see how a lot of you think Nessie is manipulative. However, that's definitely not how I wanted her to be. :c I guess I just don't know how to describe how I think she is.

I mean, selfish, yes. Partly. I think her being an only child, and being loved and pampered by the Cullens (And Jacob) made her selfish.

You know?

Well. Without further ado.

Chapter 4.

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Seth's POV

I had been patrolling Jacob and Nessie's house for a little over an hour when I felt like I was being followed. It was an eerie feeling, and after a while I finally stopped patrolling. I hadn't wanted to begin with because I was afraid whomever it was actually had a different target: Nessie. Who knows what sort of blood sucking creeps would be after her now.

"I see you've finally stopped running." It was Jacob. I turned, and the large russet wolf was only a few feet from me. I don't know how I hadn't sensed him, or in the very least heard him through the connection.

"I'm sorry Jacob." Was the only thought I could process.

The other wolf stayed there for a few moments and then trotted off into the rest of the forest.

I phased, and ran to where I had left my clothes. I hadn't realized how far out I was from the car, and running, in human form made it that much worse. Not to mention being human, naked, and in the dead of night. I got dressed quickly and ran to the house to tell Nessie I had found Jake.

Until I realized that she already knew. Jake marched out of their house, Nessie followed quickly behind.

"You." Jake pointed his finger at me.

Nessie held onto Jake's forearm. "Please, don't do this." She begged over and over.

"You're gonna fuck my woman. You're gonna fight me like a man." Jacob pushed Nessie off him and walked up to me. He didn't stop when he got to me, pushing me forward with his momentum.

I couldn't fight Jacob. I mean, don't get me wrong. I _could_. But, I realized from the very start that what I was doing was wrong. I knew from the very start that I should have told Nessie that I wouldn't do it. That I couldn't betray my alpha in such a way; but, it was Nessie. I had a crush on her since she was fourteen. I can remember the day clearly.

Jacob's fist slammed into my jaw.

I remember she was wearing this pastel yellow dress. Her hair was perfect, I mean with Alice it had to be perfect. It was then that I realized how perfect her laugh was.

Another hit to my face, I felt the sharp crack of my noise breaking. I faintly heard Nessie screaming, saw a quick flash of her porcelain skin.

I remember it was her birthday party, and I had no idea what to get her. Nessie and I had been pretty good friends at the time, but what do you get for a fourteen year old half human/half vampire? I had asked Leah what to get her, but she only responded with some snarky comment about a blood bank or something.

Nessie screamed at me to do something.

"You wanna fuck my imprint?" A kick to my privates. I crumpled to the ground.

I bought her an iris. I knew how much my mom loved them. 'They're perfect, unique. Roses are too clichéd. Poppies are beautiful, but far too fragile. Iris', they're beautiful, strong, perfect.' She'd told me once. They reminded me of Nessie for that reason.

Nessie stood in between Jake and I, and I knew I wouldn't let her fight my battles. I stood up, carefully. I felt the hot blood gush out of my nose. Felt the sharp pain in my privates.

I remember how embarrassed I was when Nessie was opening presents. It would seem weird if I had gotten Nessie a flower for her birthday.

I punched Jacob right in the eye.

Nessie pulled at my arm. Putting her hands on either side of my face. "Stop it!" She sobbed.

I left before she opened presents. I told her I was feeling sick and that I should probably leave before I got any worse. Dr. Cullen offered to check on me but I told him I didn't want to be a bother. I left quickly and hated myself for it for a week.

Nessie was crying. "Both of you! Stop it now!" She begged.

I went by her house the next week and saw the irises in a window box, right outside her bedroom window. She had walked out and told me she loved them. 'They're wonderful. How did you know they were my favorite?' She'd asked. I tried to explain that they reminded me of her and my words failed me. She'd hugged me, and I remember that her hair smelled like coconut; that she was at least a foot shorter than me. I remember how cold she was, how I felt her breathe in deeply with her face in my chest. I remembered all of this, and knew I never wanted to imprint on anyone.

Jacob was holding Nessie in her arms as she sobbed. I had never heard someone cry so hard, gasping for air. Choking on their own tears. I saw their embrace and left, hobbling to my car. I gripped the steering wheel with one hand and reset my nose with the other. I wiped of the majority of the blood with a fast food napkin I had in my glove compartment, and drove home.

It was midnight when I got home, and Leah assaulted me with questions as soon as I got in the door.

"Where have you been?"

"What the fuck happened to your face?"

"Are you limping?"

"Did you get in a fucking fight with a grizzly?"

I shut the door on her face and collapsed on my bed. I didn't bother undressing or messing with the covers. I laid there, and remembered that hug. I remembered, that I wanted to be the one to buy her irises for the rest of her life.

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WOOOOOO. c:

There it is. I certainly hope you like it. I won't ask for reviews ever again. :c Promise.

Love, Joplin.


	5. Shallows

Can I just express how much I love you all?

And how much I hate to tell you that by fall, don't expect me to update every day. c:

I start University, so you'll be lucky if I update once a week.

My deepest apologies.

On another note. I have another story, you guys should check it out.

It's called In the Present.

It might be a bit more cheery than this one. Sorry, I love tragedy.

It's told from Jacob's POV, and as a girl, it's weird writing as a boy. I feel like I make him sound to emotional and kinda.. whiny.

So, here's Chapter 5. c: I sincerely hope you like it.

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"I forbid you from seeing him again. Do you understand me?" Jacob was yelling at me as he tore the sheets from my bed.

"You can't do that." I mumbled. I slowly took the pillowcase off my pillow. I was tired, and all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep with the hope of waking up from this nightmare.

"Excuse me?" He asked, walking over to where I stood. He pushed me down on the bed. Not forcefully enough to hurt, just enough to know he wasn't messing around.

"I said you can't do that. I'm not your property. You don't own me, I can talk to whomever I want." I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow. Challenging.

"You're my imprint." He growled. His hands were shaking even so slightly.

I stood up and straightened my posture. Was this really how he thought of me? I was his ever obedient servant and would do as he wished? I was _His_ imprint. _His _possession. "Fine." I said.

He blinked. It was a few seconds of awkward silence. "Fine?"

"Mhhmm." I agreed and went to my closet and pulled out my backpack. I dumped my school books on the bed and started going to through my drawers. Pulling out the necessities: underwear, bras, shirts, socks, pants.

"What are you doing?" He asked from behind me.

I turned to look at him, zipping up my backpack. "I'm leaving." I announced.

His eyes widened. "What? Nessie, you can't leave." He put his hands on my arms to keep me from moving.

"Really? Are you going to lock me in my room? Are you going to bind me to this house for the rest of my life?" I scowled. "I know I fucked up Jacob. I really did. And I'll apologize for the rest of my life, until my very last breath, I'll apologize for it. But you won't keep me from seeing Seth; and I won't stay here like a prisoner."

He dropped his arms. "You know he'll never really love you, right? Not like I love you Nessie." He brushed a piece of my hair back. "He'll find another girl and imprint, and forget all about you."

I shook my head, but answered, "I know."

"Then how can you possibly love him?!" He shook me gently, his warm hands almost completely encircling the width of my arms. "How could you let yourself do that, knowing what your fate holds? What his fate holds?" He pulled me to him and I dropped my backpack.

"I never wanted to love him. Can you at least trust me when I say that? That when I slept with him, I never expected to be here." I looked up at him. "I expected to wake up the next morning and realize what a mistake it was, to awkwardly avoid him until he imprinted. To apologize to you and beg you for your forgiveness."

"Then why would you sleep with him to begin with?" He whispered.

"I don't know." I pulled away and picked up my bag. "Maybe it would be best for me to leave. I'll go stay with my parents."

"No. Please." He whispered.

I stared at him, and then moved in to kiss his cheek, more of a friendly gesture. But he pulled away and I kissed the air around him.

"I just don't know how to make this work. I don't know how to get over this awkward hump where you can't trust me, and I can't trust myself." I swallowed the building urge to cry.

"Maybe you should leave." He whispered, and I realized how much he was hurting. Enough to send away his own imprint.

"You're right. Uhm…. I'll be at my parents, if you need anything." I walked out to my car.

Jacob followed me and put my backpack into the backseat for me.

"I'll see you around." I whispered, only to be cut off by the crash of his lips on mine; hard, forceful.

"See you around." He said and walked back in the house.

I stood by my car for a few more seconds before getting in and driving back to my childhood home. Somehow I knew that my parents would be waiting by the door for me, of course Aunt Alice would probably see it.

It was weird, coming home after not living there for almost a year. I ran into my parents arms, knowing that even if they didn't understand, if they strongly disagreed with my actions; they would still love me. My dad knew, of course, and I heard him telling my mother once I had gone to bed. I fell asleep to the sound of my entire family in the living room, and the hushed tones of their whispers.

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I hope you liked it.

As always, I love reviews, *hint* *hint*

Love, Joplin.


	6. Welcome Home

Chapter 6 is here. c:

I just finished typing it,

Didn't have time to proofread. D:

Hope it's good. c:

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Nessie normally always woke up before me, especially on a Saturday. She would wake up and watch the news and make coffee. Sometimes I would take her out for breakfast to a little diner not too far away. Other times she would make eggs and bacon and toast and we would watch cartoons in our pajamas. We would cuddle on the couch and leave the dishes for another time. Then I would go off to work for a few hours, or the pack would come over for a meeting. Emily would come over and bake with Nessie; although lately Nessie would bake ahead of time so she could hold Lilah and talk with Emily. She would hold her and smile with every movement the baby made- she was completely in awe by the small bundle of blanket and baby in her arms.

I woke up late on Saturday morning and awaited the sound of the television. I waited for the sound of Nessie's feet walking across the hard wood floors of the living room; awaited the sound of the coffee maker. And then I remembered everything that had happened the night before. Had it really only been yesterday? It was only yesterday that I found out the past five months of my life had been a lie. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. My eye had almost completely healed, except for minimal swelling.

I went to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee and searched the fridge for some food. Lasagna. Had Nessie made that last night when she was waiting for me to come home? I knew immediately that she did, she always made lasagna when she was worried about me. Before I knew it I was dialing her number on my phone.

"Hello?" She answered. She sounded tired, like she had slept as badly as I did.

"Nessie." It was good to hear her voice.

"Jake, is everything okay?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Oh. Yeah, everything is fine. I uhm- wanted to thank you for the lasagna." I muttered, realizing how stupid I sounded.

She laughed, and the sound warmed me to my core. "Not a very healthy breakfast Jacob Black." I could see her playfully wagging her finger in my face saying 'tsk-tsk'.

I laughed with her. "Yeah, I don't know how to work anything besides the microwave and the coffee pot because you normally…" I trailed off, I didn't really want to talk about why she wasn't here. I cleared my throat, assuming my alpha voice. "The pack is coming over for a meeting, and then we'll decide whether or not to expel Seth. I will, of course, tell them what has been going on my back."

"Of course." She agreed.

"In case you want to be there." I offered.

"And be persecuted for my actions? I'll think about it. Maybe I'll even come over with a giant red 'A' on my blouse. How very tragic of me." She replied.

I breathed deeply. "When are you coming home, Nessie?"

"When you want me home." She answered coldly. I imagined her rolling her eyes at me and stomping off.

"Today. Now." I suggested. "I want both you and Seth there for the meeting, it's only fair for you two to be able to tell your stories."

She sighed. "I'll be there." And hung up.

'I love you.' I thought. I remembered the days when we would talk on the phone for hours, and we would say I love you in all of the funny voices we could think of. I wished for those days.

-Nessie's POV

I hung up on Jake and walked downstairs to my family. They all greeted me with open arms and plenty of hugs.

"What did that mutt do to you?" Aunt Rosalie asked. She placed her hands on my shoulders. "You know I'll kill him if he hurt you."

I shook my head. "He didn't do anything wrong. It was me. My fault." I sat down on one of the chairs in the living room. "It's just…" I trailed off, not knowing where to start.

"We all know, Renesmee."Grandma Esme was at my side in an instant, and she took my hand in hers. "Darling, nothing you could do could make us love you any less." She kissed the top of my head.

"I know. I know that, of course. It's just shameful. I'm ashamed of what I did. But… I don't regret it." I looked around. "I love Seth, and he's wonderful."

"And what about you and Jacob?" Aunt Alice asked.

I shook my head, "I don't know. He wants me to come back home for a pack meeting. They're going to decide on whether or not to expel Seth from the pack."

"Absolutely not!" Aunt Rosalie jumped out of her seat, "My niece will not go over there to be judged by those smelly dogs." She looked to Emmett for support.

"I don't know, I always kind of liked Jake. I mean, he played video games with me." He realized everyone was gawking at him. "No. I love Nessie she's my lochness-niece. Don't get me wrong."

I nodded. "I understand. I think I'll head over there." I said goodbye to my family and hugged and kissed each of them. My parents held me the longest and wished me luck.

It was only a short drive back home, and Sam and Emily were pulling in the drive way just as I did.

"Hey Nessie! Long time no see." Emily hugged me close. "Do you mind carrying Lilah inside for me? My back is killing."

"No problem, just go inside and rest." I grabbed Lilah out of the backseat and cooed at her. She was getting so big, and it had seemed like forever since I saw her last.

By the time I got inside after grabbing my backpack; Jake was already telling Sam everything. Emily stared at me like I grew horns and a third eye and snatched Lilah out of my arms. I think she was a few seconds from spitting in my face. I hurried off to my room and closed the door. Why did I decide to come back?

* * *

Hope you liked it. c:

As always, please review.

You don't know how excited I am to read all of the wonderful reviews I get.

Love, Joplin.


	7. Don't Let Them See You Cry

Here's Chapter 7. c:

Whoooooo. I hope you like it,

And I want to thank all of you for the wonderful reviews. c:

There are two quotes in here that are Native American proverbs.

They're Cheyenne, and I think the pack in Twilight is based off Quileute.

But I really loved them, and I definitely love the idea of Billy speaking in proverbs. c:

Here it is.

* * *

-Nessie's POV

I sat on my bed, holding a picture of Jacob and I. It was taken on La Push beach, on an exceptionally beautiful day. I had just bought a new bikini, and Jacob could barely keep his eyes off of me. With every look from a passerby, he threatened to dress me in a turtle neck and sweatpants. I remember how desperately I wanted to tan that day- everyone else around me was naturally tan, and I felt whiter than glue.

There was a knock on my door that interrupted my memory. I really didn't want to speak to anybody. I wanted to stay here until everyone left; it was a mistake to come back.

"Can I come in?" It was Billy. I couldn't face him. By now he would have known everything, and I couldn't look him in the eye after he knew.

"Uhm. Yes." I opened the door for him and then sat back on the bed. I didn't know what to say to him.

He wheeled in and shut the door behind him. "Renesmee." His voice wasn't mean; if anything it was kind, almost sympathetic. "Will you look at me?" He asked.

"I can't." I whispered.

He wheeled himself in front of me and held my hands in his. "Renesmee. I know what happened."

"That's why I can't look at you." I tried pulling my hands away.

He let go of one hand and raised my chin with the other. "I'm not upset with you."

I met his eyes. "How can you say that? I mean… Jacob is your only son and… I'm his imprint, and I couldn't even honor that." I shook my head, "I'm sorry."

He smiled at me. "Exactly. You're his imprint. No matter what, he'll forgive you. Renesmee. We all make mistakes. Some are small, like forgetting to buy an anniversary card." He smiled guiltily, "Others are larger. Some are much larger than yours. 'Our first teacher is our own heart': we all learn from what we do." He patted my hand, "I just hope you learn from this Renesmee."

I hugged him close. "Thank you." I told him and pulled away, "Honestly, Billy, you don't know how much that means to me." I stood up, "I guess we should go out there, huh?" I opened the door and wheeled Billy out to the living room where the pack was gathered.

The entire room grew quiet and I felt all the hostile glances without having to look up.

"I got it from here Renesmee." Billy smiled up at me and rolled over to Emily and Lilah sitting on the couch with Quil and Embry.

I walked past the stares and into the kitchen to get a drink of water. My body felt feverish, clammy. The water didn't help, and for a split second I wished I kept a secret stash of liquor under the kitchen sink.

"Nessie?" It was Jake. And I wished I could just ignore him, just act like I hadn't heard him. However, that was impossible since we were the only two in the room.

I turned and looked at him. "Yeah Jake?" It was weird, not running into his arms and kissing him. This felt formal and awkward, and I wasn't sure about the "social etiquette" for situations like this.

"I'm glad you're here." He closed the space between us, then backed up a bit. Like I was a leper. "Do you still want to explain yourself, to the pack I mean?"

"No, I think you covered it." I looked around my shirt. "Shit, I must have left my scarlet letter in my room, should I go get it?"

He breathed deeply "I don't see how you think you have room to make jokes, especially in a time like this." He walked back out of the room and I followed him, awaiting my persecution.

-Seth's POV

Walking into Jake and Nessie's house was worse than I expected. He obviously already told everyone, and Nessie shot me a small smile from where she sat next to Billy. It was dead silent.

"What did you do?" Leah snapped at me, as she looked around. "Did you kill someone?" She looked around, "No, unfortunately the leech is still here." She walked right past me over to Jake.

I swallowed and walked over to Nessie. "Hey" I said sheepishly.

"Why are you over here?" The harsh voice came from Emily. Emily who had always been so sweet; she was my own cousin. She used to hug me until I couldn't breathe. Cover me in kisses, and embarrassingly fix my hair in public.

"I- uh- was just talking to Nessie." I expected this kind of remarks from Sam maybe. Definitely Paul, or Jake. But Emily?

"Is that all you're doing?" Quil sneered at me from his spot next to Emily on the couch. "I mean, come on Seth. That's Jakes imprint. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I looked over at Nessie who only stared straight ahead. She reminded me of the pictures of women who walked to their death accused of witchcraft. Head held high, emotionless.

"Quil." Billy warned.

Quil stood up, "I'm sorry Billy. But this guy fucked Jake's imprint. How can you just let this go?" He shoved me, and I stood there, mouth agape.

"'Do not judge your neighbor until you walk two moons in his moccasins.'" Billy warned, "Sit down Quil."

"Not with him here." Quil stood his ground. "He leaves or I do."

I looked from Nessie, to Billy, back to Quil. "Yeah, alright. I'll leave." I went to walk out the door, only to be stopped by Sam. "Pack meeting."

"Well, I've overstayed my welcome. So, I'll leave." I informed him.

Sam only pulled me back to the living room and sat me down on the sofa opposite Quil and Emily.

"By now, you've all been informed the events that have transpired between Seth and Renesmee. Today, we'll cast a vote on whether or not Seth will be excommunicated from the pack. Are there any comments or concerns before we start the vote?" Jake announced. He looked around the room as Leah raised her hand.

"Yeah, when will the vote be for removing the leech?" She leered at me.

"She's not leaving." Jacob announced, "Any other important concerns?"

"I'll fucking kill you." Leah jumped across the room, hands clawing into Nessie's face. I was there in a second, tackling my sister to the ground. Jake was next, grabbing Nessie and pulling her to him.

"Get her out of here!" He screamed. "Both of you go, now." He pointed to the door.

I went to protest but he was already pulling Nessie to the bathroom, pulling his shirt off to put it to her face to apply pressure. All I could see was the blood on the beige carpet.

The rest of the pack stared at us, completely in shock. Sam helped me get Leah to her feet and out the door. "I'll call you after we've come to a decision." He said before shutting the door in my face.

* * *

Here it is. c:

I really hope you liked it.

As always, reviews are much appreciated.

Love, Joplin.


	8. A Drop in the Ocean

Viola, chapter 8.

On my other story, 'In the Present' (Not like I'm hinting you should read it or anything *cough*)

I put lyrics, that I feel describe the chapter, or maybe have lyrics in it that go with the chapter,

Or sometimes they're just a song that I was listening to when I wrote that particular chapter.

So, I think I'll start doing that with this one.

c:

I really like this chapter.

No, I really love this chapter.

I hope you do too.

* * *

_A drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven._

I don't wanna waste the weekend,  
If you don't love me, pretend  
A few more hours, then it's time to go.

_-A drop in the Ocean, Ron Pope_

-Nessie's POV

Being a vampire- even half of one- meant I healed fairly quickly. By the time Jake had washed all the blood off of my face, the wounds had begun to clot. He sat me down on the edge of the tub and ever so gently dabbed at my face with a towel. He put his hand on my face and ran his thumb over my swollen bottom lip.

I mirrored his position, and rested my hand on his cheek, and showed him my memory of the picture I had been looking at earlier. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into my hand.

"I'll always love you." He whispered, "No matter what you do." He leaned in to me, still stroking my lip. "I just can't find it in me to forgive you." He looked at me, and kissed my hand before standing.

Emily knocked and walked in, "Am I interrupting?" She held Lilah in her arms. "I thought maybe I would sit with Nessie, while you talk to the pack."

Jake stared at me for a while then nodded. "Thank you." He walked around her, out of the bathroom.

Emily closed the lid of the toilet and sat down, bouncing Lilah on her lap. "You and I match now." She whispered, without even looking at me.

After looking at her for so long, her scars just became a part of her; I never thought twice about them. I hadn't seen myself in the mirror through all the blood, and when I went to get up to check, Emily stopped me. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." She looked at me, "Of course, you'll heal much faster than I did."

"Is it horrible?" I managed.

"Don't speak, the blood is clotting and you'll jostle the wounds." She dabbed the towel at my face gently and pulled it away with a bright red stain. She looked down at the baby in her arms, "Would you like to hold Lilah?"

I nodded and held my arms out for her. I cuddled her close to me, the warm weight of the baby helped; and I tried my hardest not to smile.

"I don't think there's much hope left for Seth. If Leah or Jake doesn't kill him; he'll be devastated by the loss of the pack." She looked at me, "Nessie. How could you do this?" She looked like she was going to cry. Like this was a personal affront to her. "You know what, don't answer that." She stood up and rummaged through the medicine cabinet and pulled out some antibacterial cream. She washed her hands thoroughly, and then began to rub the cream on my wounds. "Jacob is broken; if you can promise me one thing, promise me you won't see Seth anymore." She wiped her hands on a clean towel and sat down, leaning forward.

"If not for Jake, and the pack, then do it for you." She stroked my hair in such a motherly fashion I almost mistook her for my own mother. "You shouldn't have to live every day in fear that he'll leave you. That he'll imprint and forget all about you." She frowned, "I know Jacob would give you anything you wanted- everything in his power."

She didn't understand- she was a mother. She didn't only get to see Lilah and hold her occasionally; she brought her into this world. She tucked her in to bed every night, she would be the one to kiss her scrapes and her ouchies. She would be the one to hold her hand on the first day of school, Jake could never give me that.

Sam knocked and came into the bathroom, he stared at me, and then covered up his disgust with a weak smile. "We're done with the meeting." He held his hand out to Emily and she took it.

"You can hold Lilah, until we live, if you'd like." She smiled at me.

I nodded, and they walked out. I looked down at the cooing babe in my arms and touched her soft cheek gently. I showed her memories of the time I went to the zoo, and I saw all the cute animals. She giggled and held onto my hand with hers. She could barely wrap her chubby fist around my finger.

Jake walked in and closed the door behind him, he kneeled on the floor in front of me and place his hand gently underneath my chin, raising my face. He looked into my eyes and then kissed me, carefully.

"Seth is out." He whispered, and then sat down with his back against the door. The bathroom seemed much smaller with him on the floor. As if I had never realized how small it was without a measurement to compare it with.

I nodded. I'm not sure what it meant to me, I only knew that I wanted to curl up in Jacob's arms.

"Leah, too." He added, and looked at me. "I'll kill her for she did." He rested his large hand on my leg.

I shook my head. The last thing this pack needed was more bloodshed.

Jake sat next to me on the edge of the tub and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the top of my head, "Nessie. Please, promise me something." He whispered.

I looked over at him. Talking wasn't a good idea at the moment, and I wasn't about to agree to anything.

"Promise me, that you won't see him again." He looked in my eyes, "I'll do anything. Anything, just… Don't go back to him Nessie." He rested his head on my shoulder. "Darling, I don't think I could handle it." He was crying, for the first time since I can't remember. Jacob was crying, and of course, it was all my fault.

I couldn't answer. I only patted his leg and continued to show Lilah images of my childhood.

By evening, my face felt significantly better. Jacob and I hadn't talked since our moment in the bathroom. And when I had said goodbye to Emily when the pack left, my face still hurt. I reheated the lasagna for dinner, and Jake and I ate in a comfortable silence.

After dinner I cleaned the kitchen and sprayed cleaner on the carpet. I took a shower and changed into my favorite pair of pajamas. I went into my room and turned on the TV and watched some sappy movie that was so dramatic it made my life seem easy. I laughed in spite of myself and curled up on my unmade bed. I hadn't put any more sheets on it since Jake tore them off the night before.

There was a knock on my door, and then Jake walked in. "I was wondering if I could join you?" He asked sheepishly.

I nodded and made room for him on the bed.

"I… I was hoping maybe we could move to my bed." He looked around the room. "I can make us some hot chocolate or something."

I smiled and turned off the television and took his hand in mine and let him lead me to his room. He turned the TV on and handed me the remote before he left the room to make hot cocoa. I made myself comfortable on his large bed and changed the channel to a football game instead of the cheesy movie I had been watching.

Jake came back and handed me a mug and cuddled with me on the bed. "Football?" He smiled, "we could have watched the movie you were watching earlier." He stroked my still damp hair.

"It's fine." My throat was dry and I drank some hot chocolate and then set it on the night stand.

"Well of course it's fine. I'm not letting you change it now." He chuckled and pulled me close to him and pulled a blanket over us.

It was perfect. Being in Jake's arms was where I wanted to stay for the rest of my life. "Jake."

"Mhmm." He answered, still watching the game.

"I promise." I whispered.

* * *

Mhmm. I definitely love this chapter the most.

Please review and let me know what you think. c:

Love, Joplin.


	9. This is War

Is this chapter 9?

By golly miss molly,

It is.

I'd like to take this time for a short but sweet(and bitter) author's note.

I greatly appreciate the reviews, I do. I do.

However, I don't give a rat's ass if you don't like the content of my story.

I don't write for the soul purpose of pleasing you.

I don't care if you disagree with the subject matter, them, plot, anything.

I write for me, I write to deal with stress, I write for an escape.

If you don't like what I've written here, PLEASE, by all means.

Don't. Read. It.

For those of you who consistently tell me to update, and that you really like this story:

I thank you, from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and motivation,

I love you who consistently read this story,

Seeing the views counter go up makes me utterly happy. c:

Thank you. Onwards with Chapter 9. c:

* * *

_"A warning to the people.  
The good and the evil,  
This is war."_

_-This is war, by 30 seconds to Mars_

Nessie's POV

Jake walked through the front door, slamming it and calling my name. "Nessie, where are you?" He called, opening and closing doors. He half ran into the kitchen and stopped when he saw me.

I was surrounded in a pile of baking mess: I had baked some bread and muffins for Jake; and now I was baking a white cake for Emily's birthday. Needless to say, the kitchen was an absolute mess. Bread pans and muffin tins all over the counter, flour on almost every surface, cake batter spilled across the counter. Cooking was not my forte. The end result was always good, but getting there was a challenge.

"Nessie," He looked around, "What happened in here?"

"Uhm. I was baking," I smiled and then pointed over to the island before resuming pouring cake batter. "I made you some muffins and some whole wheat bread: the kind I made not too long ago. You said you liked it." I looked over at him.

"That's not- Thank you. I just came back from telling… The Clearwaters about their no longer being in the pack." He turned me to face him, resting his hands on my arms. "I don't want you leaving this house, okay?"

"Why? Jake, what happened?" I looked down at the cake, "I have to take this over to Emily today." I put the cake tins in the oven and set the timer.

"No, Nessie. Please, don't leave the house." He pulled me to him, "Leah phased as soon as I left. I saw her running in the woods and, Nessie, she's livid. I just want you to be safe, and if you're not here with me I can't protect you." He stroked my hair.

"Jake, I'll be fine." I rubbed his back, "I doubt she'll even come over here." I pulled away, "Now, if you stay in here any longer I'm going to make you help me wash dishes." I smiled at him teasingly.

"Nessie, I'm being serious."

"Me too."

He sighed, "Please, promise me you'll stay here. I'll go with you to Sam and Emily's to take the cake over, if that's what you're worried about."

I turned around. "Fine. Now scatter or I'll make you clean up this mess." I turned back around to the sink and began filling it with hot soapy water.

"Thank you for the muffin." Jake whispered and kissed the top of my head, I head him sit on a barstool at the island.

I didn't make him help me clean up my mess, although I definitely thought about it. Jake took the cakes out of the oven for me, and kept trying to steal them when I wasn't looking. I ate a muffin with Jake and he ate three; all the while talking about how "upset" he was that I never baked him cakes.

I laughed and playfully slapped him, "never, huh?"

I frosted the cake quickly, and the Jake drove me to Sam and Emily's house. I knew without a doubt that Sam wasn't going to bake a cake for his imprint's birthday, and I decided to surprise her with the confection. In the past few days since Leah attacked my face, Emily called me every evening to talk. At first it was kind of weird, Emily had rarely called me before; but it was nice to talk to her.

We stayed and visited for an hour or so, and had cake. I held Lilah and shower her my memory of seeing a deer walk through our back yard that morning. Like always, she giggled and held onto my hand with all of her might.

In that time spent with Sam and Emily, I felt that everything might actually go back to normal. Not any time soon, of course. Though one day, I was confident things would go back to how they were years ago. Jake and I left, and I hugged Emily as she thanked me for the cake and asked me multiple times for the recipe.

I laughed "Remind me next time you come over."

Jake and I left in good spirits. He commented on how happy he was that Emily and I were becoming friends, and I patted his leg to show I appreciated it. My feet hurt from standing in the kitchen all morning, and I think my ankles were swelling.

"I should have worn better shoes this morning." I took off my sandals and rubbed my aching feet. "I think my ankles are actually swollen." I told Jake.

"Maybe you need better shoes." He smiled at me, "Those plastic things aren't doing you any good."

"Yeah Yeah." I said and rested my head against the headrest and watched him. The calm look he had on his face when he was driving, the way he glanced over at me every so often.

We got home and I carried my shoes in with me, "ow-ing" with every step. I was joking, my feet weren't really that sensitive. I just liked hearing Jake threaten to throw me over his shoulder and carry me inside.

"Hey, didn't you lock this?" He opened the front door.

"Yeah, I always do. Wasn't it locked?" I looked at the door jam and saw the break in the frame. "Jake, look at this. It looks like the door was kicked in." I dropped my shoes.

He stood there, "Something's not right." He cleared the distance between us in two steps and he pulled me into his arms. "Stay close." He whispered.

I followed him as he checked the kitchen, and then his room. The TV was still in the living room, as was the TV in Jake's room.

"If there was a burglar, you'd think those would be gone." I whispered.

He stopped mid-step. "It's not a thief." He whispered, and then ran to my bed room. I was close behind him, and saw the door hanging from one hinge. The windows were completely shattered, all of my picture frames were destroyed. My laptop was in two pieces, my school books were in shreds. My jewelry box containing precious earrings and necklaces from Grandma Esme was sticking into the wall. The glittering of metal and glass made the room shine. It was stupid of me to mourn material possessions, but I had no idea of how to explain this to my family without starting a war.

* * *

I really hope you liked it. c:

Thank you for reading.

Love, Joplin.

P.S. For those of you who hate me for Nessie cheating on Jake,

Can I share this one thing with you?

I'm a huge fan of Karma, c;


	10. Author's note

Hello to my lovely readers.

I have a confession to make.

I'm going on a small hiatus until I know what direction to take this.

I'm really sorry if you guys are super addicted to this story,

I'll try and update again sometime soon.

Whenever I can focus on what direction I want to take with this story.

Love, Joplin.


	11. Elephant

Hey there. c:

This is finally a chapter, not another author's note.

However, it is shorter than most of my chapters. Next chapter will be longer.

I promise. c:

The italics (sans lyrics) are a flashback.

* * *

_This has got to die  
This has got to stop  
This has got to lie down  
Someone else on top_

_You can keep me pinned_  
_It's easier to tease_  
_But you can't paint an elephant_  
_Quite as good as she_

_-Elephant, by Damien Rice_

I'm not sure how- or why- it took me so long to realize I should have been as mad at my imprint as I had been at Seth. It had been two weeks since I walked in on the two lovers in my imprint's bed. Two weeks since I banished Seth and Leah from my pack. Now I was on my way over to their house to do something I never expected: apologize.

_I walked right into their house. To hell with knocking. I walked up to Leah, where she was standing in the hallway. Mouth agape. Eyes wide. My entire life I had been told never to hurt a girl. Never. Somehow, this lesson escaped me as I pinned Leah to the wall by her neck. _

_ "Who the hell do you think you are?" I screamed at her, "The fuck do you think you were doing? Walking into __**MY**__ house? Trashing __**MY**__ imprint's room? What would you have done if Nessie was home? Huh? What the fuck were you going to do?" I released my grip on her throat and watched her fall._

_ "I was going to kill that bitch." She spit at me, "I was fucking hoping she was home so I could wring her fucking neck. I wanted to cover her pretty little face in scratches. I wanted to mess her up so bad even you couldn't recognize that bitch." _

And now I was walking up to the Clearwater's house once more; this time however, I knocked. Seth answered the door and frowned, "Are you here to strangle me too?" He asked. He almost looked serious, and I suddenly remembered Seth as a young boy. How did we end up like this?

I sighed and shook my head, "I would really like to speak with you and Leah both."

He looked at me with a confused look on his face, then he nodded and let me in; closing the door behind him. "Leah!" He called down the hallway, "Let's sit." He led me into the living room and sat down on the couch.

I sat on the chair and looked around, how long had it been since I had last been here?

Leah walked in and then stopped dead in her tracks, "What the hell do you want?"

"Please just sit. I need to explain myself."

She barked out a laugh as she sat down, "You sure do."

I sighed. "I want to apologize… to both of you." I glanced at Seth and then turned back to Leah, "It was wrong of me to abuse my powers of alpha in such a way. I shouldn't have banished either of you- especially when Nessie went unpunished." I sat forward in my chair. "I'm sorry Leah; for treating you the way I did. I shouldn't have done that- and it was wrong of me. I would like you to join the pack again, if you want of course."

She stared at me, "Fine, but I have two conditions." She smirked.

I nodded, "What are they?"

"First off, Seth is going to be accepted back into the pack again. No questions asked. You'll treat him no differently then you did before this whole shit storm. Got it?"

I glared at Seth until he looked down at his lap, "Fine, what's the second condition?"

"We forget all of this ever happened. Well, not all of it. I never trashed Nessie's room, and you never broke in." She sat back on the couch and raised her eyebrow, like she half expected me to challenge her.

I nodded, "Fine." I stood up and walked to the door; followed by Seth and Leah. Seth stood behind, looking at the floor. As I walked out the door I heard Leah whisper her thanks. I smiled to myself and nodded before leaving.

* * *

I hope you liked it. c:

Please review.

Love, Joplin.


	12. I am Still Here

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long.

It's just been a busy week. However, here is the next chapter. c:

I hope you like it.

Please read and review. Thank you.

* * *

_I must have had a hundred nightmares  
Of you falling asleep at the wheel  
I send my prayers  
Where are you now?  
I am still here and going nowhere  
-I am still here, by Damien Jurado_

"Do you really have to fucking stand there and watch me pack?" I was shoving all of my belongings into cardboard boxes, suitcases, plastic bags. It didn't matter to me what the container was, just that the contents were mine. I never realized until now just how much stuff I had. Even repairing my room after Leah tore through it wasn't as bad as this.

"I just wanted to see-"

I cut him off, I didn't even know why I had asked that question in the first place: It was rhetorical. Somehow Jacob didn't understand this. "You just wanted to check on me, of course. You wanted to make sure you could monitor my every movement." I rolled my eyes and shoved my shoes into a box. "Well guess what Jacob." I stood up and faced him, "You can't anymore." I couldn't remember a moment I had been so straightforward and cruel to him.

"Damnit Ness! I just wanted to see if you needed any help." He threw his hands up, "I'm sorry for asking."

I laughed, "Right, please Jake. Help me pack up all my belongings. Please, help me so the door doesn't hit me on the way out." I grabbed a box and shoved past him out of the doorway.

I heard him growling as I walked down the hallway. When I got to my Jeep I put the box in the trunk and waited until Jake unloaded two boxes in the backseat.

We were silent as I packed the rest of my belongings and he carried the boxes and bags to the trunk. For a moment, I almost wanted to make a joke; anything to see him laugh. But the moment was gone as soon as he walked back into my bedroom. It was empty save for the bed and the desk.

He leaned against the doorway as I grabbed the last photo album and cradled it in my arms.

"Where are you going to stay?" He whispered.

I scoffed, "You really think I'd tell you?" I walked past him, only to have him follow me to the car. "You kicked me out of your home, out of your life. You've lost any privileges to check up on me." I put the photo album on the passenger seat and stood facing him; my arms crossed over my chest.

"Will you just fucking tell me Nessie?" He stepped forward so he was towering over me, his entire body was shaking, "I didn't do this to… to punish you. It's just better for the both of us. To have a break. Just to- Just to fucking think, Ness."

"Maybe I don't want a break." I answered, standing tall and staring him down. He wouldn't win this fight.

"What are you talking about?" He seemed to shrink back.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't want this to be a break. I. Want. You. Out. Out of my life, out of my future. Everything. I want to burn every picture I have of you. I don't want a single reminder of you." That wasn't exactly true. I would keep all of the pictures, I knew in the end I would. I would remember him every day; every second. I would never be able to really live without Jake.

He didn't answer me for a few seconds. He looked like he was about to cry. Then he looked like he was about to break something. I took a step back.

"I can't live without you Ness." He breathed deeply, "Just tell me where you'll be." He rested his large hands on my shoulders, "Just tell me a location, please. Just so I can know you're safe."

I stared at him and scoffed, "No." I shook my head and walked around to the other side of the car. I climbed in and shut the door.

"Nessie!" He ran around and opened the door, filling the space with his large body, "Baby, please. Don't do this to us."

I laughed, "Yeah, it's all me. It's all my fault. I actually own up to the fact that I slept with Seth. You just blame me for everything else. The funny part is though- you can't blame this on me."

"Don't be like this, please. Don't." He reached out to touch me and I slapped his hand away.

"I have to go. I have people waiting on me to help me unpack." I started the car.

"Tell me where you'll be, Ness. That's all I want. Just tell me that." He leaned into the car, "Please."

"Just stop Jake. Okay? Really. Just stop." I rested my head against the steering wheel. "Please just let me go."

He stepped back and slammed my door, "Fine Ness. But I will find you. I'll follow you there if I have to. I'll find a way. I promise you that." He growled.

"Or you could just ask Seth." I thought I had mumbled it. I was certain he wouldn't hear me. Not over the engine. I was reversing out of the driveway when he whipped around. Eyes wide. Body shaking.

"What was that? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He was running to his car, climbing in; as I sped down the street.

(Jacob)

I must have searched every parking lot for her car. Every motel, hotel, condo, apartment in the surrounding area. I drove past the Clearwater's house- to see Seth's car was missing. I drove to the Cullen's to see her car wasn't there either. I knew it was hopeless to ask Edward or Bella where she was.

So I went back home and laid on her bed, my cell phone in hand. I regretted coming home that fateful day over a month ago. I regretted walking up to her room. I regretted kicking her out of our home yesterday- but most of all I hated myself for allowing her to leave.

I had a million nightmares about her- her home getting broken into and my sweet Nessie getting hurt. I had a nightmare about her coming home to me only to have her end up in a ditch somewhere. I was plagued by these horrible visions of her. So I gave up on sleep; and went outside into the cool night air and phased. Phased so my only thoughts were of the earth under my paws. Phased so my worries were behind me.

* * *

Thanks for reading. c:

Love, Joplin.


	13. This Heart

Wow, it's been a while since I uploaded. I'm sorry. :(

So, I guess I'm getting tired of Nessie being the bad girl.

Like, I get she cheated on Jake. Really. I GET IT. (HELLOOO, I wrote it!)

However, I believe in this society it's okay for guys to cheat.

But somehow, it's horrible when a girl does it.

I really hate that. (Uber feminist here)

It's not okay for anyone to cheat on anyone.

However, I'm tired of persecuting Nessie for doing so.

That's why it's taken me so long to write this chapter.

I wrote so many drafts of this chapter it's not even funny.

Really, not funny. So, here is this chapter. If you don't like it, fine.

I'm done writing from a cultural mindset that makes me uncomfortable

in order to cater to the reviews that I get. (No offense).

Ranting over, sorry. Here's the chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

_This heart's been sleeping for months  
This heart can't wait to see you  
This heart doesn't wanna convince you that  
This heart will not collapse_

_-This Heart, by Mary Lambert_

(Nessie)

It was the ride back from the appointment with Grampa Cullen that was the worst part. Nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. Nothing save the if's, and's, or's, and but's. I fidgeted with the dial on the radio, unsure of what station to play. I drove past my new home; the cute apartment building I had been living in for the past two weeks. I drove straight to Seth's house.

I had told Seth that I would meet him at his house after my appointment- if I had known Jake would be here, I would have changed my mind. Leah, Seth, and Jake were standing by his car. I parked next to his car and got out slowly. They all stopped talking and turned to me: Jake and Seth both smiled at me; Leah only scowled, of course.

Jake cleared the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. I hadn't seen him in the two weeks since he kicked me out. "Ness." He whispered, "I missed you so much. Every day I miss you more and more." He pulled away and leaned down to kiss me.

I pressed a finger to his mouth, "I'm here to see Seth." I looked up at Jake, at his sad expression.

He nodded slowly. "Of course you are." He barely even whispered it. He stared at me for a bit longer then walked back to his car, not even looking at Seth; who was now walking over to me.

I smiled at him and let him lead me inside, into the living room where we sat down together on the couch.

"How was the appointment?" He took his hands in mine, pulling me closer to him.

I smiled, "Good." I looked up at him, "Really good, actually."

He looked confused, and as he opened his mouth to speak he stopped. A smile creeping over his face, "Really good?"

I could barely contain my excitement. "Really good." I whispered as I kissed him.

"Oh Ren." He pulled me into his arms, "A baby." He kissed me over and over. "Our baby." His large hands went to my stomach. He laughed, "Our baby. I'm going to be a dad." He grinned, "And you'll be a mom." He kissed me again.

"Congratulations." It was Jake, standing in the doorway to the living room. His eyes were watery, his hands clenched into fists. I hadn't heard him approach; I hadn't even heard the door open.

"Oh." I looked from Seth to Jake and stood up. "Jake, wait." I walked after him as he strode out of the house. His gait was so much larger than mine that I was practically running. "Jake!" He stopped by his car, his forehead pressed against the top of the driver's side door.

"Jake, please look at me."

"How could you do this to me?" He whispered. He slammed his fist against the car, "Am I that expendable? Don't I mean anything to you?" He was yelling through his tears, "You're my imprint Ness. You mean the world to me! Why can't I mean anything to you?"

"Jake, you're so important to me." I reached my hand out to rub his back and he jumped away.

"I'm so fucking tired of this Ness. I'm so tired of everything. You promised me you wouldn't see him anymore. You promised me you wouldn't have anything to do with him. And now… And now you're in there playing family with him! Like you two were meant to be." He shook his head, "I'm tired of being tossed around and used like some old rag."

"You kicked me out Jake! You kicked me out of your life, any promises I made are meaningless now. You couldn't keep your promises, why should I?"

He scoffed, "I've never broken any promise I made to you, Renesmee."

"You promised to take care of me, to love me no matter what."

"Ness, nothing could ever make me stop loving you." He stepped forward.

"No. You don't. It's just this stupid imprint that keeps you thinking about me. You don't love me, I know you don't." I shook my head, "I'm sorry Jake." I walked to my car.

"Ren." Seth was running towards me, "Let's go home, Darling. This isn't good for the baby." He pushed me behind him gently.

Jake only stared at me, "Seth, I need to have a word with my imprint." He was using the alpha voice.

Seth shook his head, "No."

Jake looked as shocked as I felt, "Excuse me?"

"No, she's mine. She's carrying my child. It's my job to protect her and I'm not going to let you hurt her any more than you have." He took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Get in the car Ness."

Jake scoffed, "I'm not going to hurt her. Just let me talk to her, alone."

"Seth, it's fine, really." I gave his hand a squeeze, "I'll be fine, just go get the rest of the boxes out of your room."

"I'm not a child Ren." He scowled, "You can't just send me off to my room so the "grown-ups" can talk."

"Seth, I didn't mean it like that." I frowned.

He held his hands up, "I got it." And he walked back into the house.

"Nessie, please come back home with me." Jake walked over and pinned me to the car, one hand on either side of me, "Please, we can forget about everything that happened. I'll never bring this up again. Just come back home with me," He nuzzled my hair, "I need you so much." He whispered.

"That sounds wonderful." I whispered, and Jake stared at me, "But I won't lie to my baby about who her real father is." I pushed him away. "I'll keep in touch." I opened the trunk for Seth to put the boxes in.

"Ness, you can't do this." Jake held onto my arm.

"I'm so sorry. I know you don't want to hear that. I know you probably don't believe me. But I am Jake." I got into my car and started the engine, looked at Seth in the passenger seat and smiled. It would all work out, somehow or another.

* * *

As always, thank you for reading.

Please review. I love every single one, no matter how negative or positive.

Thanks.

Love, Joplin.


	14. Any ideas?

To my lovely and wonderful readers, followers, favorite(ers):

I have a confession to make, I haven't updated in quite a long, long time,

But you already knew that.

Well, there is a reason behind that, and here it is:

Quite frankly, I'm all out of ideas.

Completely out of ideas,

So out of ideas that I dreaded even logging in to this website.

I'm sorry, so, if any of you are so emotionally attached to this story that you'll sob buckets upon reading this

(Which I strongly doubt...)

I am open to any suggestions on how this story will go.

I had ideas when I started, and still have them, however:

It's very difficult trying to get from point A to point B.

So, any suggestions, motivation, words of encouragement, compliments, complaints, or ANYTHING

Is very very welcomed.

Thank you very much,

Yours truly,

JoplinHadleigh.


	15. Finale

So, I hope you like this.

I've had quite a lot of fun writing this.

And I think this is a good finale.

* * *

"You're screaming,  
And cursing,  
And angry,  
And hurting me,  
And then smiling,  
And crying,  
apologizing."

Epilogue, by The Antlers

(Seth)

I saw her.

I was walking back to work, I had only stepped out to grab a bite to eat at the fast food restaurant across the street. It was in that one moment that everything made sense

(Nessie)

I tried to reach him for days.

The night he didn't come home, I left him hundreds of texts and voicemails. I was completely frantic; had he been killed? How had he not at least texted me to tell me he would be late? Of course, the most obvious answer never even crossed my mind.

And then, about a week later I received one simple text message:

'i found her. tell the baby i love her. maybe one day shell know her dad.'

(Jacob)

I knew before Nessie did. That was the worst part.

I wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her. I wanted to be with her, I wanted to be her shoulder to cry on. I was at Sam and Emily's house when I found out. I had met a nice girl at work, and we were about to go out for a double date when Leah ran in.

"He imprinted." She was sobbing, she didn't even pay attention to the fact that there was an outsider in the house. "My baby brother imprinted before I did!" She ran into Emily's arms. That alone was enough to truly show how much of a wreck she was.

I looked around, hopeless, and then finally told Vanessa, my date, that we would just have to go out another time. I told her it was a 'family emergency'. After that night, I never talked to her again.

(Nessie)

There was so much blood. I couldn't remember a time when I had seen this much blood. Sticky and red, and covering my bed sheets, my pajamas.

I knew this was some sort of Karmic punishment.

I called my parents and told them about my current situation.

They were over within minutes, with Grandpa Carlisle in tow.

And the next day, there wasn't any blood. There wasn't anymore pain. But there also wasn't anymore baby.

(Jacob)

"Just stay right here. I don't want her freaking out, you know? It's been so long since she's seen you." Bella whispered. She gave me a sad smile as I nodded.

"Renesmee?" She called, heading toward Nessie's bedroom. Nessie moved back in about a month ago. Sometime after her stillbirth. I had wanted to be there for her. I called so many times. I stopped by with flowers, her favorite chocolates, books that I thought would help her. Anything I could think of to ease my imprint's pain.

I head Nessie's small voice reply. "It's Jake, isn't it?"

My heart beat fast in my chest. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Edward standing next to me. "I'm really glad you're here Jake." He gave me a small nod and then went to his wife's side.

"You really should speak to him Nessie."

I didn't her reply, but Bella and Edward walked back to me with smiles on their faces. "Go in there." Bella whispered as she gave me a hug.

My heart seemed to explode within my chest. It had been six months since I had seen her; and now that I actually could, it seemed like a dream.

I pulled away from Bella, "Do I look okay? I didn't- I mean I wanted to I just- She actually wants to see me?"

Bella laughed, "Just go, Jake. It's been six months, and you look fine." She gave me a motherly kiss on the cheek and patted my shoulder.

I nodded and half ran to Nessie's room. I opened the door, carefully. I was still afraid she would change her mind at the last minute.

"Jacob?" I heard her sitting up, and I threw the door open and stared at her.

I couldn't move. My feet felt literally glued to the floor. My Nessie. My beautiful, gorgeous Nessie; looked like she hadn't eaten in months. Emaciated, and her skin was an almost sickly gray color. Her once perfect hair was now pin straight and lacking any real curls.

"Oh Ness." I whispered. In that second, I didn't care how thin she was. I didn't care that for months she had slept with my best friend. I didn't care that she didn't let me near her: not when she was pregnant, and not when she was falling into a deep depression. I didn't care about any of that.

I ran to her side and picked her up into my arms, trying to be as careful as possible.

In that moment she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on. In that moment, nothing else mattered, because with Nessie in my arms, I'm home.

* * *

So, I really hope you've enjoyed the story.

Please Review, and check out my other stories.

Love always,

JoplinHadleigh.


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